Fear is a funny old word! I found a dictionary definition of fear that reads – an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. We tend to use it in times of extreme, but fear underpins much of what stops us from moving forward in life.
I would like to introduce to you some of the ways in which fear might be preventing you from successfully achieving your goals, and three of my favourite Bach Flower Essences that can be used to release the negative emotion that we call fear.
Types of fear
As a mum of 3, I see and hear about the many fears that my children face. Some of these fears are easily explained and released and some need to be faced head on. But there is another set that kids are often unable to verbalise, these are the ones I ‘see’ or intuit.
It is that last set of fears that I think cause the most trouble, both in youngsters and adults, because they fester under the surface where we aren’t truly aware of them. Think of those times when you stopped yourself from doing something that you really wanted to do? Why? I bet you don’t know! However, underneath the surface was a little niggling fear, that introduced a seed of doubt in your mind, which swayed you against the course of action you wanted to take.
Procrastination is a very unhelpful by-product of fear, where we find ourselves delaying or postponing something. A client recently reported that she procrastinated over opening her parcel of essences for three days, because deep down she was fearful of the change that she so wished for.
Fear of what?
I find myself doing all sorts of housework whilst procrastinating about financial tracking. Why? I really don’t know! Tracking my finances gives me knowledge of what money I have right now, which means I can decide on a course of action in regards spending. It also gives me an understanding of when and what I spend on, which times of the year are more expensive, which I can save. All good information, very helpful!Sso why do I procrastinate? Fear! Ah, but the fear of what? Now that is where it gets a bit complicated because the layers of fear over finances have been building throughout my life. The fear of lack, of making a mistake (buying the wrong thing) or spending without knowing if I can afford the item (yes financial tracking is extremely helpful!). What about the childhood fears built up around money? Do you remember being told you were frivolous? That money slipped through your fingers? That you couldn’t save even if your life depended on it? That money doesn’t grow on trees? So many words conveyed by adults with fears around finances, all of which we, as youngsters, took on to create our own set of fears around finances.
I recently attended a fascinating discussion about imposter syndrome – (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’. I was amazed at the people putting their hands up and saying ‘yes, I struggle with this’. Because, from the outside, they look pretty sorted folk doing well in their chosen profession, who always sound like they know what they are talking about. This fear of being exposed as a fraud must have far reaching effects on a person’s ability to be successful. As well as a detrimental impact on their mental and physical health.
Fear of failure and success
Now I understand the fear of failure, didn’t we all want our parents to be proud of our achievements? Maybe there were times that we could have got into trouble or been told we would be in trouble if we didn’t achieve a set outcome. Now either of these would certainly introduce a fear of failure that might carry on into adulthood. But fear of success? As a flower and vibrational essence practitioner and coach, I come across the fear of success a lot more than one might imagine. The largest group I find this in is mothers who run their own businesses. What if the business becomes really successful? How do I juggle being a mum and running a demanding business? In either case, these fears are often subconsciously utilised to prevent business success.
Flower essences for fear
Here is where I would like to introduce my 3 all-time favourite flower essences for fear from the Bach range – Aspen for the fear of the unknown, Mimulus for the fear of the known and Rock Rose to help us be brave enough to face our fears.
We have several bottles of this combination in my house, going under the various names of ‘Archie’s Big and Brave’, ‘Emily’s No Fear’ and ‘Holly’s Got It Sorted’, and I have to say that it works every time. My first and best example of its efficacy, was when my eldest was transitioning into senior school. I made her up a bottle at the start of the summer holidays and she took 2 drops twice a day for the 6 weeks. Every day she would list all the things she was worried about going to big school. In the middle of the 5th week she started to say ‘I’m…’ then she gave me a look that was a mixture of shock and relief, before saying ‘it’s all gone!’ All her worries had been released, leaving her feeling happy and confident for her new adventure.
Aspen (Populus tremulus) leaves tremble even when there appears to be no breeze, it is this signature that is conveyed by the essence. Times when we feel spooked by the unknown or easily jump out of our own skin; when we feel apprehensive for no logical reason and often aren’t able to vocalise these fears; those creepy, eerie fears that make us jittery. The essence helps release the nameless terrors so that we can go about our lives feeling at ease.
Mimulus is for the release of known fears such as heights, flying, crowds, lack of money, failure, success, being visible, speaking in public, etc. The essence helps release all the phobias and every day worries that our ego uses to keep us safe, which essentially keeps us small and far from successful. The positive state of Mimulus is a person that fully embraces life, trusting that they are safe, and all will be well.
Bach Rock Rose
Rock Rose is the essence to help us face our fears, the one that bolsters us up, enabling us to feel grounded, centred, calm, in the moment. If I only had one of the three Bach essences for fear then Rock Rose would be the one I would choose. I found this one very helpful when I was struggling to do Facebook livestreams. I got in such a state that I couldn’t even turn my phone on, let alone start speaking, but a couple drops of Rock Rose and calm prevailed, my brain and mouth reconnected, and all went well.
Your individual needs
I have only mentioned a few of the fears that we use to hold us back from achieving our goals, for there are many and each of us has a unique mix created by our individual journey through life. When working with clients I treat each case on an individual basis that depends on the outcome the client wishes for. Sometimes we use essences to release particular fears that are holding the client back from being successful; sometimes to help the inner child see that these fears have no basis in the now; other times we create a picture of how the client would like to feel in the future and use essences to create enough forward momentum to bypass the fears. However we work, flower and vibrational essences really do the trick.
I help women to reconnect with their true sense of self, after a lifetime of trying to be ‘everything’ for everyone else.
If you would like to know more about how I can help you, please book a complimentary Clarity Call. Here is the link to my diary.